


Stop, Babe

by thedeathrampz



Category: Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Cancer, Canon Compliant, Im sorry for that, M/M, Songfic, but theres love, lots and lots, sad stuff, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 17:48:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10746738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedeathrampz/pseuds/thedeathrampz
Summary: No one knows what's gonna happen in the next minute, the next second. What I do know is that love is the one beautiful thing we can't control. We have no power over it. We don't know where it comes from and we never know when it's gonna hit us and that's the beauty of it. Love who you want and love who loves you back. Life is way too short.But, then again, what the fuck do I know?





	Stop, Babe

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on wattpad for a project called "A Certain Romance" - reading list from twinkyalix.
> 
> Song: Stop, Babe by Tokio Hotel.

_Way too many feels_  
_Don't waste 'em on me_

He screams, raw, agonized as tears stream their way down his cheeks hot and wet. He can't stop, doesn't seem to register just exactly what he's doing. All he knows is his heart feels like it's going to stop, thrumming loud and fast in his chest. Adrenaline rushes through him like a drug, wheezing in effort to drag in enough air.

He doesn't know how long he screams for, how long it takes for his legs to feel so numb and weak it causes him to fall to his knees. He's so exhausted, he wants to sleep forever.

He can barely hear his own wrecked sobs, something clattering to the floor and it sounds so loud it's like it's right in his head. His hands curl into fists to replace the emptiness they feel. He wishes he could do the same for the hole in his chest.

And he wakes up.

Alex rolled over, groping the opposite side of the bed out of habit as he awoke. When his fingertips met only with sheets, his heart sunk a little. He tucked his arm back into his blankets, trying to suppress his disappointment, thinking it's already been months so there's still no reason for him to keep checking.

..............

Miles finished the last of his pint and slid the glass toward the bartender. The man took it, refilled it and set it back in front of him.

"Last one mate, you said so yourself when you got here." He said kindly.

"Thanks for keeping an eye on me, mate," Miles replied.

"Have you told him?" The bartender asked as he took a little break.

Miles nodded negatively, biting his lip.

"Hey man, I think it's the case. It might be better like that.."

"I don't even know what to tell him. I'm just as confused and worrying him like this would just make it worse," Miles said.

Weeks ago he was diagnosed with what seemed to be a form of cancer, but the doctors told him they still need time for analysis. He thought he couldn't tell Alex yet, without a fixed and concrete source and proof. He didn't want to scare him nor grow _useless hope_ in him.

......

"What do you mean... cancer? I thought his grandad..."

"Yes, the cancer his grandfather had suffered from wasn't genetic but because of it Miles was more susceptible to it," the doctor explained.

"Is there nothing we can do?" Miles asked, his voice soft as he clutched Alex's hand.

"We got to it too late, I'm sorry Mr. Kane, but all we can do is make you comfortable."

Alex couldn't control himself, he stood from his chair and kicked it harshly across the room. Neither the doctor nor Miles made a sound, Alex slowly lowered himself to the ground and let loose a barrage of uncontrollable tears.

......

 _But it's too good to be true_  
_Yeah, I'm so into you_  
_It's too good to be true_  
_Nothing's better than you_

"How're you feeling today, Mi?"

"Like I'm dying."

"That's not funny."

"I thought it was."

The Scouser grinned at the other man, but he didn't have the heart to return it. Miles had been typical Miles for months, trying to laugh off his impending doom and trying to make Alex smile. But he couldn't bring himself to smile, not while he had to sit back and watch the love of his life slowly die. Miles couldn't walk on his own anymore, and his breathing had been too weak so they had him hooked up to oxygen all the time. He'd had another heart attack, but doctors were able to resuscitate him.

Slowly but surely, his body was giving up on him.

"I wouldn't be able to live without you..." Alex whispered.

"Of course you will... you have your family that needs you and all of our friends. And music, Al. Most important of them all, really."

"I bet no one wants to hear my depressed ass sinking into an eternal nothingness," he smirked, placing Miles' hand on his face, kissing it gently.

He was just now remembering how much work he's got, and how terrible the outcome will be. Or so he thought, because he knew his attention couldn't be shared. He wasn't gonna pretend Miles is fine and start working on music, writing words he never even felt. He wanted to express honesty but in that moment he knew it would hurt too many people if he did so.

"Find someone new, Al. There's pretty gals all around you, nice lads too but you know, I want you to keep that special place for me. Remake your life, move on from this dark place..."

"No one would ever be able to replace you, Miles... I don't want to. That would feel so wrong," Alex replied, already shaking.  
"You shouldn't have to be in pain. You should be living a long life with me," he added.

"I should be, but that's not the big man's plan. Don't worry baby, I'll wait for you. I'll still love you, even if you arrive at the pearly gates all wrinkled and old," Miles assured him, trying to get a smile out of the other boy.

"We should've been getting married," Alex said bluntly, taking out a little box where his and Miles' rings rested, a tear falling over them.

Miles sighed, and before getting to reply a nurse popped her head into the doorway. "Mr. Turner? Visiting hours are just about over."

"You've gotta go Al..."

The Northerner couldn't take his eyes off Miles, he felt his heart rip in two over and over again.

He gave him a few last kisses and wiped his tears, forcing a smile and waving slowly.

Miles showed his crooked grin, whispering in a rough voice, "Take a photo, it'll last longer."

......

It was the last time Alex saw him. Miles' immune system eventually failed him. He was always connected to machines which kept him alive, but it wasn't enough. He left peacefully, in his sleep, after two weeks in which Alex couldn't visit although doctors assured him they're on the good way.

Alex never married, never moved back to California nor properly dated.  
Miles was the one for him and he stuck by it.

Alex could never bear to wear his wedding ring, but had it on his bedside table every night. He kept photos of Miles everywhere, to keep him alive in his heart and home.

 _Stop, stop,_  
_Babe I will leave California_  
_Yeah I am leaving for you_  
_'Cause all I do_  
_I do it for you_

......

 _I chose you, and I'd choose you over and over again, without a doubt. I'll keep choosing you. You taught me what love is, ever since I've met you - I still remember the first day I saw you and my entire world flipped._  
_And I do believe in true love. Why do I believe in it? I don't know, I have no idea. All I know is that I do. My friends sometimes made fun of me and almost everyone I know thought I have a fairy tale idea about love and they always told me it's not like how it is in the movies - that I'm way too romantic and that all of this is just my fantasy. They say, "In real life, love works way different!"_  
_But you taught me love is made to awaken our souls, and you made love feel so powerful, so bright. Love is made to make us better people, without changing us into someone we're not. I believe you've acquired that. I couldn't promise fixing all of your problems but I promised you'd never have to face them alone._  
_I've never known anyone who actually believed I was enough._  
_But what could love mean, how long can it last, nothing lasts in this world, everything leaves, everything fades, everything dies only to be born again, in another way, in another place, with other people._  
_There's no happy endings as they are the worst part. You gave me a happy start and a happy middle and I couldn't be more thankful for that._

**_I love you._ **


End file.
